Breaking news: yesterday Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, Graduate of the World Economic Forum’s Young Tyrants Programme, and winner of the 2022 Trophy for Sickeningly Insincere Smiles, announced that Canada would be instituting an innovative educational initiative designed to help coming generations of Canadians be more loving.
"What's the point of turning Canadians into Cyborgs" Justin asked (referencing his government’s recommendations on Bio-Digital Convergence), “if we can't even love each other?”
The world's media is in shock. News channels are struggling to accommodate this suspiciously sudden and radical character shift in the formerly heartless politician. As one BBC commentator succinctly remarked, "What the Fuck?!"
“Are Cyborgs at-war-with-each-other really any better than unmodified, genetically unenhanced humans at-war-with-each-other?" he challenged the Canadian public, rhetorically.
"We have been bombing the shit out of other countries in order to rip off their resources for long enough!" Mr Trudeau exclaimed passionately, "we don’t need sexless transhumans with USB ports for ears, we need generations capable of grasping-intellectually and, more importantly, capable of feeling-empathically - that everyone is equally worthy of love and respect!"
Jim Grin, executive chairman of SMILE, the organisation responsible for the coveted Sickeningly Insincere Smiles award has said SMILE is considering revoking Mr Trudeau’s prestigious trophy.
Genetically modified billionaires capable of superhuman feats of hypocrisy have also questioned Mr Trudeau’s worthiness.
Meanwhile Truck Drivers who under Mr Trudeau’s astonishingly liberal ‘open access’ laws are now able to spend their own money, are being quoted as saying “let’s give him a chance – Mao loved gardening, Hitler was a vegetarian, Henry Kissinger loved his mum – sociopaths are only almost-completely incapable of feeling”.
And I agree! I know there is a conspiracy theory in circulation claiming an extraterrestrial ‘walk in’ has taken possession of Mr Trudeau’s body, but in my opinion – who cares! If Prime Minister Trudeau is advocating educational reforms that will not inculcate emotional illiteracy, devotion to The Machine God, addiction to superficiality, and information, information, information... If he is advocating education that encourages existential honesty, sensitivity to The Great Mystery, the capacity for intimacy, and delight in pointless creativity – who cares if he is not himself... who cares if his artificiality has cracked, his smile softened, and his right to the 2022 SMILE Trophy about to be revoked?
II
And anyway, and furthermore - documents have been leaked which go far beyond Mr 'walk in' Trudeau’s plans for Canada – documents containing similar plans for love-oriented educational reforms proposed by, yes, King Klaus - Kong of the Forum, in Europe; by Xi Jinping, about whom humour is not funny, in China; by Putin the Terrible, in Russia; by Wobbly Joe, president of the USA - and by endless other bloated, petty presidents, monarchs, sultans and tzars in hundreds of other countries - documents oddly punctuated with words in Sirian - and yes, I mean Sirian from Sirius, not Syrian from Syria. Documents that read thus...
"We have been educating our children to believe, not just that gender is fluid, but that they are intrinsically sexless – innately, biologically neither male nor female; that we are all born neutral; that - as with machines - any organ can be unscrewed, screwed on - unplugged, plugged in, plugged on... Lips, tits, cocks, fingers, bums, brains - everyone should have drawers full of them, we tell them – like we all have drawers full of old plugs and cables and gadgets. Well, trangkewktsopluntipoolik – enough!
We have been educating our children to believe their bodies are upgradable hardware - technologically and genetically upgradable - or, best of all, upgradable by some freak bio-nuclear accident that converts them into superheroes who inhabit a comic book cosmos in which they can kazoom and wham and zap and woosh and kapow to their upgraded hearts' content.
We must stop manipulating their imaginations in this way. What kind of kazoom-kapow-splat world do we think such manipulated minds will grow up to co-create? Shringfotplin! Isn't it obvious? Superkali! Frajelistik!
If we really wanted techo-genetic human enhancement to superhero-save the world, then why are we not filling their innocent heads and hearts with the adventures of Loveman, and Lovewoman, The Healer, The Forgiver and The Enlightener? Expialidoshus?!
Where are the modern myths of Loveman zipping through the sky to where armies are poised to do battle - emitting a supersound that opens everyone's mind; and letting the supposedly-opposed soldiers see they are all just like each other? Where are such great, tense, gripping tales that end up with everyone going happily home for supper?
Where are the epic accounts of the deeds of The Healer who lets nations and religions SEE their emotions - and undo the trauma-knots in their energy-spaghettis? Why aren't we cheering-on The Healer as she superheroically diffuses mass, wounded acting-out in pandemics, eugenisist sterilisation programmes, and genocides?
Why are our children not told tales of The Forgiver whose tear-jerking magic brings repentant bankers to their knees - where they sign papers releasing nations from generations of debt?
Why - if the aim of this mass media Hollywood, Bollywood, Chinawood barrage of indoctrination was truly Peace on Earth - why are we not queuing at cinemas to see The Enlightener awaken the ego-bound neurotic world to the Inexplicable Undefinable Sacred Mystery we are all already in?
No! Krypslop and dringi! We are insidiously educating our children to replace human inflated-ego, fear, ignorance and violence with digital, mechanical and genetically-modified superhuman inflated-ego, fear, ignorance and violence.
The time has come to stop paying billions of dollars and yen to the worldwide media to distort our beloved young-ones' minds. The time has come to invest that money in education that shows them how to honour themselves, and stand their ground, and not be afraid of their vulnerability, and see each other's beauty, and know they are an inseparable part of everything."
III
Breaking news: Messrs Trudeau, Schwab, Jinping, Putin and Biden - and endless other bloated, petty presidents, monarchs, sultans and tzars - have been found wandering zapped and bewildered along the corridors of power - uncertain as to where they have been, or what they might have said, over the past twenty four hours.
Mr Trudeau denies having stated that ""we don’t need sexless transhumans with USB ports for ears, we need generations capable of grasping-intellectually and, more importantly, capable of feeling-empathically - that everyone is equally worthy of love and respect!" despite having been seen uttering these exact words on prime time Canadian TV.
"It wasn't me!" he continues to protest - lending possible credibility to the global conspiracy theory of an extraterrestrial Sirian temporary takeover of the minds of humanity's incompetent, emotionally corrupt and spiritually bankrupt leadership.
I personally have no idea. But if it was the Sirians I say "thank you! I'm with you - whoever or whatever you are. And do come again!"
Mark the Mystic Activist London, Summer 2023 www.markthemysticactivist.com